mypublic?

Okay, I can't believe I'm doing this.

2010-02-07T23:41:00.004+08:00

I know I've not posted for a long time man.
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.
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I shall make a resolution to post more hahahah!!
Since now my phone can connect to the internet it actually means I can blog? :D

Anyways it's just so strange how things turned up.
I've loved, I've lost, I've hurt the whole of last year.
It's been a long time too, I know.
You've found someone new, but I can't seem to get over you;
isn't that so cliche?
The other day when you started posting on your msn nick all those sweet things
you wished you could do for her, I realized that it's not so easy to let go.
I kept telling myself that I was letting go, but it's just so hard.
She's....totally a frickin BITCH and she doesn't treat you well.
It's so hard cuz I know I loved you more than she ever has.
Plus she cheated on you, what the hell are you thinking?!
It's so hard for me to be a friend and console you when all I want to do is shake
you until the facts actually SINK into your head.

It's time to let go man.
Here's a song to those who loved and lost and have yet to get over those painful moments:

Elise Estrada – Unlove You

Unfair .. unreal
I wanna tell my heart it’s a quick steal
that’d be one way
to un-love you

Undressed
Unkind
that I can’t you erase from my mind
That’d be another way
To unlove you

Even though my heart is tellin me to stay, beggin me to stay
my self-respect is telling me
I gotta walk away, so

I’m gonna say what i gotta say – do what i gotta do
I’m gonna break what i gotta break – cause you were untrue
I’m gonna hurt
I’m gonna cry
Its gonna tear me up inside
I’m gonna do what i gotta do
to unlove you .. to unlove you

Until
I heal
I wish that i could freeze every thing I feel
that’d be one way
to unlove you

Emotions
Unknown
In fact they’d only turn me into stone
and that’d be, another way
to unlove you

Even though my heart is tellin me to stay, beggin me to stay
my dignity is tellin me
I gotta walk away, so

I’m gonna say what i gotta say – do what i gotta do
I’m gonna break what i gotta break – cause you were untrue
I’m gonna hurt
I’m gonna cry
Its gonna tear me up inside
I’m gonna do what i gotta do
to unlove you .

I’ve gotta look you in the eye and tell the world the biggest lie
What choice do i have
When you hurt me so bad
Wrecked everything we had
so

I’m gonna say what I gotta say
I’m gonna do what I gotta do
to unlove you .

Okay, I promise my next post will be less emo and more about this year. :3

I'M SPOILING FOR A FIGHT =.="

2009-05-25T20:51:00.003+08:00

meh.

._.

2009-03-31T21:36:00.009+08:00

HELLO. UPDATED! ._.

I LOVE EARTH DAY :D
A day where we come to save mother Earth, our Gaia =o
though many people actually turned off the lights/electricity on that day,
I AM PROUD TO SAY WE DID!! :D
many many candles were lit up in our house,
though some of the wax kinda burnt onto our *ouch* hand,
we had a nice time poking at it xDD
and it looks super nice!! =o

i love my candles ._.
hehe.
after that, we watched RV (Runaway Vacation) in the dark with no fan LOL!!
SO HOT!! xD i kept getting distracted LOL!
but we managed to finish watching it w/o fan!! x33
heh. a day that we conserved energy eh. :D

OH YEAH! i think it's time to change my blogskin again when i haz the time.
anyone has any ideas? i'll make one..soon ._.
DO TELL MEH! xDD
PLUSPLUS!! I NEED A STUDY AND EXERCISE BUDDY :D
anyone who can help meh please tell me yeah =/
can't really post now, sister is asking me to help her take photos.
she wants to apply for university scholarship and they need her pics /swt lol.
bah, will post another time when i haz the time :D

*CLARA IS SICK OF TUITION .-.*

AND MORE IMAGES!! :D

OKAYY PEOPLE, STOP COMPLAINING ALR XD

2009-02-10T20:53:00.015+08:00

HAHAHHA, WELL.
yes, i know i never update, never blog, etcetc LOL!
due to popular demand, i have decided to BLOG. (for today at least lols)
well, starting with ytd i guess =o
heheh, after school i went with XinYi to "ShinTokyo" to eat xD
quite amusing ah, i waited so frickin long for her -.-"
badminton had to take some photos, and i was so impatient to get eating(YES YES, I WAS STARVING!!) hahah.
quite amusing, i was downstairs doing my homework, listening to my mp3, and YOU GUYS popped up. LOL.
i knoww, up till now prolly are neutral(or worse) about me lols.
and its impossible to miss you guys, its such a colorful parade.
well, i wont go in on that lols.
anyways, just nice, my phone rang lols. (oh man xinyi u finally called LOL)
i called her up to 12 times xD or more. hahahahah.
oh well. ~.~ when she finally called i shifted up to the hall to find her xD
wow, waited an additional 20+mins before the last photo was finally taken T.T
i completed 3-4 paragraphs of my homework by then lols xD ahh well.
anyway, by the time we finally got there it was quite late *yawns*

i couldnt resist but to take a pic of this chandelier, its so pretty x3

DAMNIT, BLOGGER DELETED EVERYTHING I TYPED, DUMBASS! AnyWAY. *yawns* pif. she ordered a mango soda, as i said, and i ordered a blue lime one ((: i was thinking of the blue caracao one jimmy and celine ordered the other time, it tasted great xD
FUNNY. i remembered this song from this coming SYF, I LOVE IT!! xD "SOGA VILLAGE CHIEF DIED FROM DRINKING SODA" LOL! HAHAHHAAAAA. it's known as "Japanese Word Game Song" lols, maybe i'll update it when it's nearer to SYF ((:

pretty soda eh. xD she ate them cherry first, i was thinking, haaaa, i'll eat it later xD WELL GUESS WHO HAD THE LAST LAUGH T.T
apparently the fat cherry got stuck under the whole lot of ice after i finished the drink =x even after i poured out 3/4 of the ice it was still crappy to take it out lol!

BAHHHHH. I GOT IT OUT ANYWAY. HAAA!
heh, anyway, i was fussing over the mussels and all for my food, i had a limited budget tho.
i ordered the seafood ramen, with lots of mussels, "lalas"
then XY ordered the TOMYAM chicken cutlet ramen >:3
HAHAH, SHE COULDNT TAKE SPICY FOOD!!! :PP the pic warned her of the spiciness but nuuuu, she ordered it xDD (strangely mine was supposed to be spicy but guess it wasnt really T.T)
BY 2 mouthfuls she was already turning red LOL. and i was like, uhm, i fear for your drink xDD LOL. BWAH. by 4 mouthfuls her lips looked swollen-y. =o i was thinking of offering to exchange the noodles with her but decided otherwise, thinking ah, well. maybe she likes it and wanna eat it :P
WELL, GUESS WUT!
halfway through (or was it 1/4 left) i offered for her to help herself to my food lols.then she was like, "WALAO! YOU NEVER SAY EARLIER!" LOL!! GUESS I WAS MISUNDERSTOOD BABE, SORRAYE. xD
lols!! i loved her noodles though, it was so... taste-bud killing xDD
HEH HEH.
MORE TO COME, FRUSTRATED CUZ BLOGGER MADE ME RETYPE EVERYTHING!!

looks yummy hm? x3

AND A RANDOM PICTURE UPDATE!!

AND A NOTE FROM THE SCANDALICIOUS HERSELF:

2008-10-29T17:07:00.002+08:00

OKAY, I'M POSTING TODAY. =X
NOTHING much. i'm slacking i guess.
dont noe how many times im sleeping today; reading abit here and there..
then sleep and sleep lah! darn. i think im wasting away my hols!
I NEED A NEW JOB.
i don't know. any one of u guys girls outside see this post whatever;
u have a job to offer, TELL ME SIAAAAAAAH! LOL!!
i need money. -yawn-
dont ask me to find a rich guy though LOL.
i heard that many many times xD
OKAY. i'm going to continue slacking.,
hope i actually find inspiration to go do some chinese later.
CYA!

2008-10-28T17:46:00.010+08:00

BOO! PHOTO UPLOAD! I HAVE MORE BUT IM REALLY TOO LAZY ALREADY.

POST FROM LONG HIATUS!

2008-10-28T17:14:00.004+08:00

Okay, I'm sorry guys xD (can't u see i'm just oozing contrite :P)
THIS IS MY POST. (just so you can't say that my blog is dead okay!)
hahah. well. school's out! i mean. sureeeeeee, it is! =X i'm still kinda upset cuz my results totally SUCK. and other than that, my hair's a DISASTER!! D: -pukes- but I guess i'll just have to grin and bear it, mightaswell make the best out of it yup! =X

Watched HSM3 online. (http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/high_school_musical_3_senior_year/) but the quality totally is AWFUL. i mean, come on! u hear alot alot of distortions and whatnot, all the songs seem to be just screams into your ears. guess it's better than nothing. at least i saved $7. xD Earlier i went to pizza hut with Ruiqi, Xinyi, Yoketing, Sylvia, Xuewei and Mewleng. hahah. kinda cool actually. the food's great, the people are NICE :D hahahah. (YES XINYI DONT LET THAT GET INTO UR HEAD. xP) then later the dancers and all came in, and the whole place just got real noisy xD we were laughing and joking abt how we didnt noe all these people. HAHAHH! ohwells! ;d anyway, it was crazy, seeing how much cheese was piled up on everybody's food. ;d supersuper funny YUP! they took alot shorter than i expected (i expected them to eat till tomorrow :X) and there was actually spare time for xuewei and yoketing to go back to school to find nick liu. =X (YES, RUIQI, DON'T SWOON OVER HIM! :DD) anyway, we were joking about where to walk when sylvia waved to us to say byebye. then we were lyk. LOL! we're going the same wayyyyyyyy ya! Don't noe why i had the sudden urge to drink milktea, but i was WAY too full. xD just. CRAZINESS, alright?!

In the morning we had lyk, remedial for chinese. I CAN'T BELIEVE O LVL CHINESE IS COMING CAN!! and it's lyk, next year will be sec 4 and we'll be leaving QUOTES"41 Clementi Avenue 1"UNQUOTE as our DEAREST mr foo put it. (i can't wait to paint the school GREEN siah.) I kept going MEOWMEOW in class and i'm quite sure i annoyed xuemiao :X tho i MUST say! the meow is supercute :D don't noe why she doesn't seem to like it xD she's lyk, supersuper hyper lo. xP and i was just plain crazy. ;d (as usual!)

kinda sianded that i have to work now tho! i don't like that job. it's not that it totally sucks or what, but rather that i don't really have the skills necessary. =X i mean, this job requires you to be able to give a smiley face 24/7, just like my old job and i can't really stand it as i'm. WELL. if you'd put it, not EXACTLY smiley? LOL. maybe even on the dao side. it's lyk, not that i WANT to be lyk that, I never meant it that way, but i do try my best to smile and all. it's kind of an inborn thing though? cuz sometimes when im actually smiling it STILL looks lyk i'm frowning. in a way, i think it's quite sad cuz it doesnt really convey what i feel very effectively. NONETHELESS! i will still be putting in whatever effort i can to get the job done...

it's been so long since you left me, baby. but it's not over. you'll see...
one day you will understand how much pain i feel to watch helplessly while you go, leaving behind nothing but broken promises.

yes. it's in your favourite color.

2008-06-11T22:27:00.002+08:00

1. Do you wish to get married?
%Well, if i find the right guy ((;

2. What do you want the most now?
% to be the smartest fella in the whole world! ;D
% to be a super rich pretty gal LOL.
% to be a great friend. ((;
% to shine for God! ;D

3. Who is the person you trust most?
% Jessica, Isaac, Edelyn, Xinting, Yoketing.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
% not ENOUGH. xD

5. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
% I'll get back to you on that o.O

6. Are you satisfied with yourself?
% Hm. Not really.

7. What you hate about yourself?
% that i'm fattttttt.
% tt i ain't smart enough ;x
% tt i've not been a good fren to my buddies :(
% that i do things without thinking beforehand.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
% Only if it's His love. ((;

9. What will you do if your HE/SHE hugged you?
% Who's that? If it's God, i'd hug back ;DD anyone else, it depends xD

10.Who do u wish to see now?
% There are a thousand nd one ppl i wish to seee now. ((;

11. How would you describe love?
% it's undefined~

12. What feeling do you hate the most?
% None. What's happiness without sadness, joy without anger or fear, or trusting and treasuring without regret? hahah.

13. Do you trust every friendship of yours?
% Not really, no. HAHAH. Some friends are just superficial ones, and they aren't those who deserve it.

14. Do you treasure your family?
% Duh. o.O

15. What is the most important thing in your life?
% HM. I'll get back to u on that too!

16. What do you regret most in your life now?
% that would be my deepest darkest secret. ((;

17.WHY ARE U DOING THIS QUIZ?
% Cause i've been tagged. DUH. LOL.

18.Are you happy now?
% happier than i had been ((;

19. Who are the people who have stood by you when you really were at the worst point of your life so far?
% Jessica, Edelyn, Xinting, Yoketing.

20. WHO U LIKE/LOVE???
% Whoever is worth it. ((;

TAGGED:( in no particular order or whatsoever )
EVERYONE! ;D

2008-06-03T22:47:00.004+08:00

"BECAUSE. WE SHARE LIFE"
Isn't this cute?!
going gaga over little baby kitties; ((;
yeah; anyway, there's nth much happening in my life these days.
so i'm kindda bored nd blogging abt it~
hahah.
mostly it's tuition tuition remedial and piano lessons.
hmm. ;x so yeahh.
if not it's the computer, lyk now.
haven't exactly been very much of a socialite.
so yeah; im hereeeeeeee.
anyway; was talking to Gabe earlier.
or at least. tried to ;x
hope he's feeling better now! takecares wor. ><
i was quite worried earlier on when you didnt reply siah..
rest well leh! feel so bad to disturb u earlier when u were resting.
Joey was quite nice to talk to as well. hahah.
but i think i over-suanned him lehs ;x
though he really took it well, as jokes.
but i think i overdid it a little! didnt mean any nasty things lehh.
Yoketing was a total knockout of an aircon ;d
but it was funnnnn hanging out with her xD
had maths remedial earlier marh; then we went to LJS at JEC to have lunch.
saw some twitties there. hurhur.
yeah, i noe im mean to say that. but anyway.
we agreed that it's commendable that they actually enjoy being what they are, ahhah!
Edelyn is still overseas -.-"
hope she'll be bringing back some souvenirs for me! hehe. ;d
if not i'll konk her head ;DD
Sherica is back from vietnam!
or at least, have been for awhile LOL!
just that i'm lagging in posting up new stuff. ;x
i hope she meant it when she said there were chocolates!!! ^^
Daddy is now back from Shanghai!
it's been awhile. hmm. since i actually saw him here again.
he brought back souvenirs for all of us.
but i quarreled with rachel over it ytd anws.
don't wanna talk abt it. so yeahs.
Jessica. is busy. lyk, 24/7?
i'm soooo super sick of hearing abt BFF.
lyk, whatever?
nd yeah; i feel pangseh-ed alright.
but oh, nevermind. -.-
guess she's not free to talk without giving one word answers and the like.
MK Daddie is fun to talk to! ;D
he's so random! YES I'M TALKING ABT YOU! BE HONORED! ;d
HAHAHAH. xDD
i got my kitty picture cuz of his "random-ology" okay! ((;
mwahahahahhah! i'm going to kill u! HAHAH. okay random~
"i got it from my daddy~"
ROFL ((;

but. i've learnt that things aren't always as they should be.
i know i stopped emo-ing lately already.
but i don't want to return to those days.
it's tiring. and it wears down my soul and spirit.
i'm just happy that my friends are here for me.
though life dies, it still lingers behind.
you whom i refer to;
you won't know it's u i'm talking abt.
but there is that which i hide and will not say it.
you know why. nd you know what.
that me that you knew is left behind;
it's a shadow of my past, what i used to be.
i don't wish to pull it out again, baby.

2008-05-16T23:28:00.002+08:00

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

;DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

there are so many of u lately;
who just let me know what it is like to have besties.
who are always there for me;
to cheer me up when i'm gloomy;
to lend a hand in need;
to smile when the world frowns;
to stop the tears from coming;
you guys ROCK my world okay! ;D

& here's a biiiiiiiiiiig THANKYOU!! ((;

2008-05-16T22:51:00.004+08:00

i just love little kitties, okay!
i know. it's obsessive that i go to devART to look for all these pixxies.
ahh well.
guess im de-stressing now.
haven't had THAT much mood lately to bother tho.
dno why suddenly lyk that.
i miss playing around. like when i HAD the time to.
seriously. i look at my results and just BALK.
what the hell happened to me?
self discipline, self study, self whatever.
i hate these words.
it's such a damn stupid thingggg! ARGH.
i hate studying. i'm not study material either.
haiz. bulllllllllll.
guess it's a NEED anyway.
nowadays; go home study le do filing.
i HATE filing. i HATE studying. argh.
i hate packing my table.
im no neat freak. serious-layyyyyyyyyyye!
pffffft. ahh well.
guess there's a price to pay to be successful in the future~
i dno if i'll even make it anyway. hahah.
we'll just let the future move as it seems.

-censored-

don't worry guys;
this ain't an EMO post o.O
no need for emo-ing.
was celebrating my music grades.
it's an A2!! ;D
my first A this mye. :(
time to buck up, bitch!
better go back to take a look at that maths file -.-
NO MORE GAMES TONIGHT CLARA!
gahh.
maybe i should just delete them to aide self discipline.
nd that's a great idea; but.
ahhwell.
aint gonna be studying 24/7 yeah?
hahah.
better sleep soon tonight. ><
I'M SHRINKING! ARGH!
YOKETING, PUIFANG we will stretch stretch moreeee!
EDELYN! LET'S GO ON A DIET! ;DDDDDDDDDD
nd you, yoketing. better eat more!
ur so skinny alr, diet what diet!
diet alr left bones siahhhhhhh!
LOL!
love y'all!!!!!
hurhur.

p.s. i'm preparing for my funeral when mom receives results at PTC nxt fri! ><

2008-04-27T23:16:00.005+08:00

Eyes showing the temper behind the calm; just like the ceaseless fire which burns inside of her.

it sure has been awhile since i updated, yes; no?

FIRSTLY.
this blog will be privatized soon.
i've decided that altho i may be calling it "mypublic?"
not everything that is here.
should be widely spread to everyone.
WHY?
cuz there are. a hell lot of. childish brats.
coming here; nd being a nuisance deducing crap out of nth.
you ppl.
you know who you are.
im not going to say it out.
it alr happened once;
if it happens again im not going to let it go this time.
you haven't seen me flare up, have you?
don't try it.

SECONDLY!
thx you all ppl for being there for me!
i really <3 u guys uberuber lots!
i noe. i made a bad choice.
i knew.
but what happened.
was unexpected.
but.
since it happened; it HAPPENED.
nd im over nd done with it.
i MAY think abt it once in awhile;
emo abit.
cry abit.
freak abit.
but in the end.
it happened.
hahah.
jess esp.
i <333333333333333333333 YOU!
thx for being there. thx for providing a place to crash when i cracked.
thx for bringing me to my senses.
i noe. i always throw my temper at u.
even over the smallest things.
i can make a huge fuss.
i'm sorry.
also;
edelyn, mk, joey, yoketing, merrien, even isaac.
thx alot.
u guys cheered me up when i was really really down.
even if im being a total wet blanket.
u guys nv fail to bring ME back again ((;
LOVE YOU ALL!

THIRDLY.
please!
pardon me if i get high! xD

LOVE Y'ALL! ((;

2008-04-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

as i said;
as i said.
ahhah.
you will never understand.

2008-04-19T21:53:00.003+08:00

LOTSLOTS! of stuff happened lately;
hehe.
for now; i shall just show u my new hairdo. xD
it's REASONABLE; nd i LOVEEEEE it!
i mean; excluding the fact that NANHUA's RULES uh;
just RESTRICTS MY DARN HAIRDOS!
AHH WELL.
sianded.
anyway; cut the chase to the main thing!

hairdo:
$80.
rebonding; cut; wash; treatment.
Y&T salon @ bukit batok.
stylist; yuntian's mother. ;D
she's professional!
*notice: don't u see that the salon is named after yuntian?
hahahah.
i love the service there!

hahahah. i noe!!
it doesnt look lyk my type of 'do right?
LOL.
nvm; u guys'll get used to it. xD
hahahahhah.
<33333333333333333333333333333333333
till then;
tatas~

2008-03-23T00:29:00.007+08:00

if you won't love me, boy.
i'll love myself.
if you don't care for me, boy.
i'll care for myself.
but i love you,
nd u noe it too.
so don't let love fade this way,
else when it's gone it won't be back.

To really love a girl
Let her hold you -
Till you know how she needs to be touched
you've gotta cherish her
put all ur trust in her
nd when u noe u will give ur life for her
you know you really love a girl
tell her that she’s really wanted
tell her that she’s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That you’ll always be together...

i just need this one guy.
to prove to me that they aren't
ALL THE SAME.

p.s. quote from jess:
Scientifically speaking,
To grow a bigger and stronger muscle,
you must first work it out.
Then the muscle tears,
and in place of it grows a new muscle
that is bigger and stronger.
Technically speaking,
the heart is a muscle.

it's true ain't it?
well; life's like that, take it or leave it.
you, boy.
i'm giving u one last chance.
i'm giving my heart to u. just u.
don't break it.

2008-03-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

yeah. i'm looking for it.

2008-02-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

"Heavy is the sorrow that bows the head, when hope is alive but love is dead."

i guess i HAVE been emo-ing lately.

i question myself again and again. why am i lyk this? i have wonderful friends. i have a family which is thankfully leaving me in peace for now. i am still able to cope with my studies. im fine with my cca. why?why??

i can't help these feelings sometimes. lyk im totally helpless or something. this strange feeling of loneliness. it's not lyk i lack the company to hang out with, or the attention, but sometimes i can't help but think of you. how it had been. how it could be now. how it bloody freaking would have been.

and sometimes i just get so confused. i wonder if everything i thought had been was just a pure case of my own assumptions and delusions. whether anything said was meant. i cant help thinking abt so many things at once, im losing my mind.

it gets so bad, even in school where my thoughts will just drift off during my lessons or simply when im alone. i cant help but let my thoughts wander..

i'm tired.. really..

2008-01-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

completed my new blogskin. ((;
life seems so much better in some ways;
worse in school HOMEWORK..
but.. i do think it's much better now..
workload feels double though.
im totally pooped.
very very tired.
yeah. but thank God for friends man ;x
if not i'd be going up there about now.
hanging on the verge of insanity. hahah.
will post again.
loves; y'all.

2008-01-24T22:33:00.000+08:00

suddenly everything feels alright again..
whether it is a simple smile, a laugh..
it never fails to light up my day.
at times i really wonder what it might have been now if not for then.
nd i noe there's no use looking back.
but i can't help it..
nd i enjoy every moment shared.

even though i pretend that i moved on,
you'll always be my baby.
nd i noe no matter where life takes me to,
a part of me will always be with you

2007-12-31T11:55:00.000+08:00

had a really.. exciting..? time with jess ytd at the sauna. xD
hehe.
END OF STORY!
not saying more.
but it includes a lot of zilianing, zihighing nd interesting talking.
other things..
ask me. ((;
LOL.
but then again.
oh well.
fun's over.
nd i'm reverting back to my normal boring life.
nd skl's starting soon..
haih.
lots of personal stuff now too..
not planning to post it.
but..
the confusion is clearing..
nd i'm resigned to the same fact i refused to admit.
it's hard..nd it's painful.
but it's time to accept it.
yeah.
shall end here.
happy new year everyone..

2007-12-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

bleah.
BEEN WORKING MYSELF TO BITS THIS WEEK!
earned $115.20...
TODAY BIG SPENDING!
now left $10.
HAHAHAHHH
im crazy luh.
bought a topshop halter;
future state halter;
chaos halter;
bikini halter;
and paid for jess's bikini too!
PLUS!!!
i bought a huge box of ice cream MOCHIIIIIIII!
love them~
hehe.
AHHHH I MISSED COSFEST 2007!!
WAS PLANNING TO WEAR MY LOLITA!!
sad.
cosfest is tdy;
but i have to pack for korea trip ;x
ANYWAY~
im leaving 17-24th!
korea~!
I'LL BE BACK FOR CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

2007-12-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

What if I? If I, played you like a toy?
Sometimes I wish i could be a boy instead..

2007-12-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

The dance steps totally rock.

Promise.

Come enjoy the life
Baby take a ride
I just wanna vibe with you, you
Baby you and I can have a good time
Tell me what you like
oo oo~

Now listen
I've been single for a while now
And I've been kind of lonely
But I'm looking for somebody to talk to,
Love me, someone who can hold me,
Is that you?

I'm looking for somebody I can call boo
Looking for the only one that I can give my all to
Tell me if it's you, you, you
What you wanna do, do, do
Make your move
You can be my teacher
I'll do homework
You can give me extra credit, baby
I'll do more work
What you wanna do, do, do
Now it's me and you, you, you
Make a move

This mood is so right
It feels so right
You can be my prince
My knight
You can be my superman
Save me here I am

'Cause baby
There's nothing I won't do
To spend my life with you
I'll give my all to you
I promise that I will never lie to you boy
There's nothing I won't do
To spend my life with you
I'll give my all to you
I promise that I will never lie to you boy

You and me together
Picture perfect
I'll spend all my money all my time
Because you're worth it
It's just me and you, you, you
What you wanna do, do, do
Make a move
Call me mama, spoil you like a baby
Thinking about you, dreaming about you
Got me going crazy
What you wanna do, do, do
Now it's me and you, you, you
Make a move

This mood is so right
It feels so right
You can be my prince
My knight
You can be my superman
Save me here I am

Baby
There's nothing I won't do
To spend my life with you
I'll give my all to you
I promise that I will never lie to you boy
There's nothing I won't do
To spend my life with you
I'll give my all to you
I promise that I will never lie to you boy

I mean everything that I say
From the bottom of my heart
I will never, never ever hurt you
I open my heart

Open my heart
Give it to you
Tell the whole world that I'm in love with you
Whatever you want
Baby I'll do
I know I don't want nobody else but you

There's nothing I won't do
To spend my life with you
I'll give my all to you
I promise that I will never lie to you boy
There's nothing I won't do
To spend my life with you
I'll give my all to you
I promise that I will never lie to you boy

2007-11-30T20:43:00.000+08:00

i love this song. ;d

"Cinderella"

I used to be your girlfriend and I know I did it well
Oh yes you know its true
You'd call me Cinderella
All you had to do was yell
And I'd be there for you

Here I am
So try to forgive me
I don't believe in fairy tales
Here we are with nothing but honesty
I've had enough
I'm not gonna stay

I'm sorry for running away like this
And I'm sorry I've already made my wish
Oh, But Cinderellas got to go

From time to time I'd try to tell just what was on my mind.
You'd tell me not today.
Come back, do that.
Wheres, Cinderella at...
Was all you had to say

Here I am, so try to forgive me
I don't believe in fairy tales
here we are with nothing but honesty
i've had..enough...i'm not gonna stay

I'm sorry for running away like this 'n i'm sorry
i've already made my wish. Ah, but cinderella's
got to go

i'm sorry just tryin' to live my life
don't worry, you're gonna be alright
but cinderellas got to go.

[spoken]

I used to say I want you, you cast me in your spell.
I did everything you wanted me to, but now i shall..
break free from all your lies. I won't be blind you see,
my love it can't be sacrificed, i won't return to thee.

[sung]
I'm so sorry, i've already made up my mind

[spoken]
I won't return to thee

[sung]
I'm sorry to say, i'm runnin' away now...
don't worry, you will be alright

i'm runnin' away, i've made up my mind now..
your gonna have to let me go

I'm sorry for runnin' away like this, and I'm
sorry I've already made my wish
Oh, but cinderella's got to go
I'm sorry, just tryin' to live my life, don't worry,
your going to be alright!
but cinderella's got to go.

2007-11-29T21:46:00.000+08:00

ohyes.
nd just to let you know if u ever do chance upon this.
i'm fine. or at least, i will be.
time will heal everything..
dont worry. i wont forget u. ever. hahah.
ur still a close friend to me.
nd i dont treat my close friends badly.
so rest assured!
nd yesh. i will not bring up the topic again.
details of it; i said in msn alr..
alrights?
cheers.

2007-11-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

((;
I HAVE MY FIRST LOLITA CLOTHING!
yeah. shopping's my way of destress..
nd i really needed to destress alot lately.
shopping is when crying just doesnt work. ahhah.
and SHOP I DID. HAH.
shop until i broke ;x
i dont even know y im splurging so much.
but anyway, i love lolita!
yeah. my temporary happiness pill.
spent the day with yoketing.
guess i really needed to forget?
forget the pain of it all.
nd enjoy my life to the fullest.
there's so many qns running through my mind.
"WHY did u give me thattype of false hope?"
"why did u talk to me that way?"
"why why why............."
i swear i can lyk, go on forever..
but ranting's not in my list anymore.
it's time to end this;
this endlessly intricate charade.
nd it's time to say GOODBYE,
even if it BREAKS my heart.

2007-11-26T15:08:00.000+08:00

my newly made dp..? ;x

I wasn't waiting;
until you came along,
and now i need you,
to tell me where my heart belongs.

2007-11-21T14:14:00.000+08:00

am sick today ;x
bad sore throat nd developing flu.. ><
must be all that walking nd soaking in the rain..
im confused; yes i am.
anyway;
i wont be online for a long time ;x
since my MOM CUT MY COMPUTER POWER! ugh!
tts so diao luh. wtf.
nd im sian-ded.
JESSICA COME BACK TO SINGAPORE LUH!
lalala~
i want my gothic clothing..
blogshop owner still no reply ;x
zzz...
ohwell..
looks lyk i;ll be back into bed..
im feeling so cold again..
i hate being sick ;x

cuz when i'm wrapped up in ur arms,
nothing else can touch me.
what a wonderful way to recharge..
i feel lyk i can breathe again-

2007-11-17T12:44:00.000+08:00

HELLOHELLO.
HAIR "DISCUSSION"~!

This is what i'd love... but...

THAT WOULDNT SUIT ME. sad.

so i'm lookin for more lyk.. this?

AND IF I DYE RED~

lol.. but of cuz.. that is a dream hairdo luh. LOL.
see how oso.. no $$!
;D

2007-11-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

why do i still care for him?
hahah. idk?
when u all ask me tt qn,
i jux haf no reply at all?
i haven had any feelings which has changed yet..
maybe some of u think im dumb..
but even so, it doesnt make a diff..
*shrug*
ANYWAYS,
MATHS SUCKS
im STUCK WITH MATHS!
nd i nid to burn freakin midnight oil to get it done ;x
ugh!

2007-11-13T21:55:00.001+08:00

seriously. im lyk, weird. o.O

2007-11-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

Found the song very meaningful.. haih.
CREDITS TO JESSICA
since she wanna see her pretty name here. LOL.

Tonya Mitchelle-I don't wanna fall in love

Who needs to feel that way
Who needs those words to say
Who wants to give their heart
To watch love fade away
Cause I made up my mind
I didnt wanna know
Why should I find a love
That isnt here to stay
I wasnt waiting until you came along
And now I need you to tell me
Where my heart belongs

[chorus]
But I dont wanna fall in love
Til I fall in love with you
And you showed me what my heart already knew
(my heart knew)
I dont wanna fall in love
Til I know the love is true
Cuz I need (cuz I need)
You to feel the way I do
When I give my heart to you

Ive seen the tears they cry
When its time for goodbye
I didnt wanna be the one whos asking why
I didnt think that I would ever feel so strong
But now I know that I was wrong

Chorus

Now I believe its worth the chance
To find the love to last (my life) for all my life
Give me a sign so I will always know this love is right
(this love is right)

Repeat chorus

But I dont wanna fall in love
(dont wanna fall in love)
Til I fall in love with you
And you showed me what my heart already knew
(what my heart already knew)
I dont wanna fall in love
(dont wanna fall in love no..)
Til I know the love is true
Cause I need (cause I need)
You to feel the way I do
When I give my heart to you
When I give my heart to you...

2007-11-09T13:48:00.001+08:00

To my friends:
yes, i'm fine.. dont worry abt me..
i'll be alright..
much as i have absolutely no appetite..
nd i wanna puke evrything i eat out..
i dont wanna eat.. i hate the food im given too..
but i'll force myself to eat.. no sweat..
cuz i dowan to end up in hospital nd make u all worry ;d
hahah.. optimistic? i haf nv been tt way.
hurt? of cuz.. but my heart's been ripped out so many times it-
just doesnt matter anymore..
fix it..? yeah. time will.
dont tell me the clara u know is strong, or brave..
im just lyk any other gal inside, comprehez-vous?
it's just what i choose to let you all see..
which isn;t always what's me..
yeah.. im sorry abt it..
but.. tts e way i am..
dont worry; i'll be fine..
i've been through this just as many times as many of u have..
nd im not down yet; ne ce pas?
but; thankyou all for caring.. ((;
ciao; mon cherie..

2007-11-09T13:46:00.001+08:00

"P.S. (I'm Still Not Over You)"

[verse 1]
Whats up?
I know we haven't spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I'll put em in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
How's your mother, how's your little brother?
Does he still look just like you?
So many things I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you

[chorus]
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you

[verse 2]
Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on
But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you

[chorus]
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you

Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don't have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no....
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget

[chorus]
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you

2007-11-08T20:16:00.001+08:00

Star-

the wind is shaking the windows, and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly
too many to count, the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don't be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me, telling me to go to sleep

though I'm exhausted to the point where I can't walk
though my tears blur my vision
I'll still smile in front of my love that I'm not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I'll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I'm exhausted to the point where I can't walk
though my tears blur my vision
I'll still smile in front of my love that I'm not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I'll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won't cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever.

2007-11-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

i wanted you..
of all people..
jux you.. diz 1 guy..
to show me they weren't all the same..
why? it hurt so much..

someday, i will learn, that
NOBODY will be there,
to catch you
when you FALL.

2007-11-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

I loved it when you kissed me
Even just for play
I miss it when you leave me
If only for a day
You kissed my sores all better
Made it feel all right
You often didn't wanna sleep
So I loved to talk all night
You pretend I'm not important
It's not in your eyes
But it's cute the things you do
So I don't mind the lies
Let me fall asleep in your arms
Just wake me up at dawn
I miss you like crazy
While you aren't even gone.

2007-11-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

Good enough.

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no.

2007-11-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

yeah, jux wat i need huh?
ugh.

2007-10-29T19:58:00.000+08:00

yes, i miss you very much.
nd i want you to know that.
more than anything else,
i jux want you to be happy.
<3

i relli miss being at the beach with u.
nd altho i dun always sound sincere
or know how to actually tell u "i love you"
it's true, nd you noe it.
im so sry.. relli..
i dont noe how to tell u how i feel
im jux not that good with words.
i dont noe how to comfort you
i haf nv been good at doing so; for anyone.
but, instead of being upset abt it,
u were the person who told me everything
made me feel secure; and loved..
thankyou..it means alot to me..

2007-10-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

believe me when i tell u im insane.
PERMANENTLY.
grandmother nd sis quarrelled again.
2 of u; shouting at each other lyk tt..
insulting each other.
any help? no.
haih.

2007-10-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

what goes around comes around
i believe tt.
but anyway..
im glad i haf sum nice by my side now
as in.
i always had my few special frenz
but u mean loads to me. hahah.
i must say tho.
u sure haf many qns! LOL.
but den again;
tts wat makes u so interesting. ((;
deres much i dno abt u too tho. hahah.
nd deres much abt me u dun relli noe either. ;p
so well..
i was pretty surprised.
tt u were even interested to talk to me. hahah.
since me; im tt type
which dun relli talk to strangers
unless intro-ed via another fren. xD
but anws.
thx for cheerin me up loads. =]
thanks,alot.
<3

2007-10-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

i'm OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE.
PARANOID yet SCHIZOID
NARCISSISTIC yet INTROVERTED.
gosh? wat am i?
identity crisis? hmmmm.
jux two words: 奢侈

2007-10-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

anyway, on a lighter side.
i still dno wat to choose for my combi!
somebody gif me some ideas thx!~

2007-10-15T15:30:00.002+08:00

maybe starting a new blog is easier to do?
i cant help but dislike all the past blog names.
nd i jux haf desires to make blogskins evry once in awhile.
but im too lazy to submit them onto blogskins also.
so probably it's jux made to be dumped in a corner for myself? hahah.
i dont know wat im doin anymore anyway.
its not lyk i will update much either.
maybe im jux bored.
maybe i jux am.
i dont even relli noe wat im doin anymore.
i dont noe whom i can trust anymore.
i dont understand how i feel.
somebody rip my heart out and tell me wat it says?

pray to God nd pray it out loud..
wat is going on in here where i am nothing,
jux another image nd another face.

i need you now

2007-10-15T15:30:00.001+08:00

i completed my newest blogskin.

2007-08-28T13:31:00.000+08:00

will make a layout for diz at night.
PERSONALLY.
and a gothique 1. hahah.
or if i'm too lazy maybe not.

2007-08-28T13:29:00.000+08:00

lalalalallalalalallaa